I`m scared and nervous. I don’t know what happened to all of my positive energy. Damn. So here’s what happened Tuesday: Nothing. Stupid me. I was at work on Monday, being inundated with calls and dealing with a tonne of paperwork, and I get an email from my boss asking if I’d like to take this week-end off. Ah, hell yeahs! OK, so we’ll schedule for Tuesday and Thursday then? Sure, no probs! As soon as I sent that Send button, I realized what I had done. I had completely forgotten about my appointment at the university. Great start, Jaimi. I emailed the councillor there, told her what had happened and asked if we could re-schedule for Friday. Sure, no problem. But ever since then, I’ve been feeling like the high is wearing off, and I’m getting scared.
It doesn’t help that all of a sudden, my seemingly supportive boyfriend is now having reservations about me going back to school…again. See, in 2007, I decided I needed to go to college. I chose a private college, one year full time diploma program in Business Administration, and it was hard. Not the school part, I loved it. I mean the home part. I had quit my horrid job and promised him it would all be worth it in the end. Money got pretty tight, so I took a part time job after school and although that alleviated some of the pressure, the tension between us wasn’t right until well after graduation. I thought this time it would be different, I intend to work full time while going to school. I’m only going to be taking three credits during the regular school year, and two during the summer. I understand that when you factor in the whole mother, wife, and other domestic responsibilities with school and work, it’s going to be a heavy ass load.
I’m completely stressed. I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Well maybe I do. But I think I’ll wait and see if I can actually get accepted before going I go completely bonkers.
Filed under: Education, Life Planning | Tags: Education, micheal j fox, optimisim, stress, university
The wheels to my future have been set in motion. I spoke with a lady at Indigenous Services at UWO, and she advised me of everything I needed to do in order to apply for September classes. I have an appointment next Tuesday to come in to complete and submit my application to start classes in September. In the mean time, I’ve had to compile a comprehensive list a corresponding documentation outlining what I’ve been doing with my life for the past eight years (since high school). “Uh oh” I thought. I’ve always had this picture of myself in my mind as a stupid girl who had a baby way too young and tried to make the best of a difficult situation. Up until this point I think self-esteem wise I was still on 18 year old homeless drop out with a bun in the oven.
Now I’m not getting my hopes up about being accepted for September 2009. The possibility that I may have to enter a University/College Entrance Preparation Program seems pretty likely. My main source of stress lies with the time constraints I’m facing. UWO requires application to be submitted before July 1st, 2009, no problem. But my application for financial assistance from Indian Affairs can be submitted no later than June 15th, 2009. So if I was to submit my application to UWO on May 15th, and they by some miracle accept me, I can only hope I’ll be informed before June 15th.
Since I’ve made this monumental decision, I’ve noticed some changes. Work doesn’t seem so bad, because I can see a light at the end of a tunnel built entirely of cubicle walls and telephone headsets. My self esteem has had a boost, too. Unfortunately my boyfriend does not seem very enthused by this. He worries that I won’t be able to handle the stress of attending school, working, raising a child and minding our home. I told him some days it will probably feel like that, and I’ll probably ask myself more than once, “What the fuck were you thinking, Jaimi?” But I’ll get past it, because at the end of this, I will have the opportunity to apply myself to career that I love. What career? Well, I really don’t know. I have ideas, but no solid plans. I do know where my interests lie though, and I know Sociology is the right path for me.
I wonder if I’m being too optimistic. It’s funny, last night I watched a television program with Michael J. Fox and all the benefits of being optimistic. Apparently you can never be too optimistic.
When I was a teenager, I messed up my life in a way that had the potential to kill me. I dropped out of school for a life of heavy drug and alcohol abuse, couch cruising, and promiscuity. Naturally, by the time I reached 18, I found myself homeless and pregnant. I took responsibility for my actions by getting the help I needed and started putting my life in order. Moved into the Bethesda Centre, a group home for pregnant teenagers and immediately resumed my schooling. For the first year and a half of my daughter’s life we lived on social assistance while I attended school. I completed all of the compulsory credits required to obtain an Ontario Secondary School Diploma, but still found myself eight credits short. I made the decision at that time to write the exam for a General Education Diploma instead of spending another year taking extracurricular classes such as Art. I was anxious to get off Ontario Works and start employment immediately. Unfortunately, I was unable to find suitable employment right away, and at the suggestion of a friend attended an eight week program called Nokee Kwe Career Directions. With their assistance I was able to obtain steady employment sufficient to support myself and my daughter. About a year later I found myself entering the next phase of my personal life: I had found a partner to spend my life with. Together, the three of us became a family and purchased a home. Once established in our new home and community I decided it was time to take the next step in my career. I enrolled on a one year Honours Business Administration course at a local vocational college. During my year at triOs College I excelled at all my studies which included Business Law and Communication, Accounting, and Microsoft Office and accounting applications. I soon found a better job in which I was more able to significantly contribute more financially to my family.
So here I am, twenty-eight years old, gainfully employed and happily settled personally. As my daughter enters her second decade of life, I find myself once again wanting more. At fist the thought of enrolling in University laughable at my age. But upon further reflection in regards to the current economic and generational situation, I can’t help but think that this may be the smartest move I can make. In the next ten years, more and more baby boomers will finally start to retire which will ease the bottlenecking my generation has been experiencing in the workplace and where do I want to be when that happens? I’ve decided that when that time comes, it would be extremely beneficial for me to have in hand and University Degree so that I may apply myself to the abundance of opportunities that may present themselves to me when that time comes.
I was told countless times as a child that I refused to work to my fullest potential, which upon reflection was a by product of zero guidance or encouragement at home. As an adult, I have finally found my potential and it my belief that my potential is limitless. I have made a firm decision to take the steps necessary in order to enrol myself in UWO’s Faculty of Sociology and obtain a Bachelor in Science. With my familial and financial obligations my only choice is to enroll as a part time mature student. I am not concerned with the time it may take to reach my goals, nor the hard work required to make it happen. At this moment in time, my only concern is the obstacles I may in face in the process of getting my dream started
